Are you feeling a bit knackered or fagged today, internet, and need something to be gobsmacked by? Then rest your zonked peepers on these 71 simple British phrases (compiled fromslangdictionaries). Some are common, some are out of use, but all of them you will want to start using immediately. Gretchen Wieners once advocated that everyone start saying “fetch,” but don’t stop there. Don’t be a tosser. Use them all.

And just remember: be very careful when you ask a British person how their father is. You know not what you’re asking.

1. Any road: used in place of “any way,” primarily used in the north of Britain.

2. Baccy: shortened word for “tobacco;” also, “wacky backy” means marijuana.

3. Barmy: crazy, insane; always derogatory.

4. Bender: derogatory term for homosexual, like “poof.” (Note: You probably shouldn’t use it or you’ll get slapped, but it’s…